It may not be the best analogy, but men are like butterflies. They fleet from one flower to another, and when they have gathered all fragrance and sweetness, they lose interest and move to the next appealing flower they see. Many girls know this tiny fact, and can’t rest easy over their paranoia that one day, their men butterflies would simply float away. Here’s how to make your guy stay forever.
Believe the song. It works.
“Don’t go changing, to try and please me….” It goes. And guys have confirmed that it’s true. A fatal mistake girls make is changing drastically a part of themselves in efforts to please their man. These changes are sometimes too overwhelming, that a guy is forced to just back out. If you are going to change, do it in little ways, and hint at it first, so as to make sure your guy is okay with it.
You aren’t perfect so don’t nag him about his flaws.
While you may be so caught up in your own little world, and would hate for your man to be less than perfect, remember that a good relationship is based on both the compatibility and uniqueness of each partner. If there are certain things you can’t stand about your man, subtly and humorously tell him about it, while making sure he gets the point. Or if you think it deserves a sit-down-let’s-talk moment, have one – if he is resistive to change, understand his issues first. It probably isn’t as big as a deal as you make it to be.
Control those emotions, woman.
Men are meant to be practical and women emotional – but it’s this truth that drives men crazy and out of the door. Jealousy is one of the products of this culprit known as emotions. And when women get jealous, it’s not a pretty sight. Showing your man the jealous monster in you is enough to give him nightmares and leave. If you feel something is not right, confront him, without making it feel so much of a confrontation. And for crying out loud, do not turn the waterworks on.
Go out of your way.
Guys may not say much, but they appreciate little things you do, given the way of the world, where they do the wooing and women simply sit pretty. Cooking for him could be an everyday thing, but cooking his favorite even when you’ve had a rough day at work is telling him how much you appreciate being with him. Or, choosing him over your friends even though you’ve planned a girls night out several weeks ago, because he’s depressed his dog died. It’s not spoiling him, when you keep in mind the balance at all times.
Do not let yourself go.
And this is the balance we are referring to. While you may feel like the world’s best girlfriend and would like to make a career out of taking care of your big baby boyfriend, you also need to pull yourself together and remember that you have a life apart from your relationship. Maintain connections with friends and family, and always make time for yourself. Guys lose interest, no matter how much you give them, when they see that you’ve let yourself go and you are no longer that attractive sex kitten you once were.
Whatever you do, honesty will always be the only policy.
It’s the life and blood of any healthy relationship – and we’re talking forever here. Mutual honesty is important in keeping your bond alive. Encourage an open communication between you and your guy, and subtly train him to tell you anything, anything at all, when he needs to. This way, he won’t have an excuse to run off to somebody else when he finds it so easy to talk to you.
Face the fact: He will always be a guy.
Don’t try to change the stuff your guy loves – Super Bowl Sundays with the boys, lazing around in front of the TV on weekends, his obsession for expensive character figures and toys, and his fascination for Playboy magazines. This was him before and when you met him, and there’s no point in trying to change that, unless you have a good reason.
If it doesn’t hurt the relationship, let it be. He doesn’t bother telling you that you take too much time in the shower, or that your obsession for expensive makeup is off the roof, so why bug him about his Star Wars addiction? It’s these things that make each of you unique, and if you plan on being together forever, you will have to accept these things about each other, because they’re also the same things that make you two awesome together.